You, Too, Can Spark a Genocide!
by Giulianna LamannaWell, another Columbus Day is almost upon us. And for those of you with kids, it’s a good excuse to teach them a little lesson about American history. After all, they’re getting two days off from state-sanctioned indoctrination. We don’t want them to start thinking independently, now do we? So in the spirit of blind patriotism, I give you a fun Columbus Day activity the whole family can enjoy. Make history come alive and show the kiddies that they, too, can be great explorers like Columbus!
First, break into someone’s house. Any house will do, but a nice big one is preferable. Stick a flag in the front lawn and claim it as your own. Congratulations! You have just discovered a new house!
But what about the people already living there? Good question. Haven’t you always wanted servants? All you have to do is convert them to your religion and make them your slaves! And remember: if they start protesting, making wild claims like “This is our house” or “Aren’t you a little smug for someone who never bathes?” just kill them. They’re obviously ignorant savages who have no idea how to run a household as well as you do.
Once you’ve gotten the natives under control, then comes the fun part. Take that nice, big, beautiful dream house and tear the mother apart. Fill the air with smoke. Let the plants wither and die, or better yet, throw them all out the window and replace them with plants that you like. Kill the previous owner’s pets for no reason other than to marvel at how easy they are to kill. Remember: it’s your house; you discovered it; you can do what you want with it.
More and more people are figuring out that hands-on learning is a truly effective way to teach. This project should be an educational and enjoyable “blast INTO the past!” And most likely, you’ll also get a close look at the American judicial system. Good luck, and happy Columbus Day!
Sad, but true.
Americans have historically taken the high road, and totally ignored the fact that we built this country on a healthy dose of genocide.
Columbus, Cortez, Custer, Grant, Sherman, Sam Walton and others, all too willing to push their ideas of religion, values, politics and trade on indigenous peoples. And, while they were (are) at it, rape, pillage and plunder at will.
Only five years into the twenty-first century, we are still active in destroying countries and cultures - including our own - for the financial gain of corporations, wealthy people and corrupt polititians.
War for fun and profit. We are good at it. It’s what we do.
Sad, but true.
Those of us who came of age in the 1960’s will remember the far right pushing the concept of, “America, Love It or Leave It.” From the left, came the retort: “America, Change It or Lose It.” May I humbly suggest that perhaps we need to realize that the retort is as true now, as it was then. America, Change It or Lose It.
For the sake of future generations we must change it now. Before we lose it. Any more of it.
Comment by Larry Rochester — 9 November 2005 @ 4:56 PM
I vote lose it. It was a nice idea, but the whole concept of a free state is an oxymoron, and our entire history has been a two hundred year story of choosing to be a state, and forego the freedom.
If you want to be free, you can’t have states. So, let’s lose the state. All of them.
Comment by Jason Godesky — 9 November 2005 @ 5:33 PM
Jason, didja get my email about WP?
Comment by Peter — 9 November 2005 @ 9:21 PM
There you go with that commie talk again! If we wouldn’ta civlyzed them injuns, they couldn’ta knowed JESUS! And once they knowed JESUS, then they could hate theyselves for what terrible sinners they were and be SAVED! Where d’ya think the world would be iffin’ we didn’t all hate ourselves????
Comment by Jashee Denford — 11 October 2006 @ 11:41 AM