This is the new theme song to Words Like Weeds, v 2.0

I work 3 nights a week in an English-developed shopping/food/entertainment centre that obviously plays the few leftover 60s/70s tapes that the English developer could afford to give away, as Muzak.

Amongst the ever-repeating tunes are:
‘Lily the Pink’
‘Who Do You Think You Are Kidding, Mr Hitler?’
‘I’m Going Straight, I Am’
Peter Sarstedt’s ‘Where Are You, My Darling?’

All of them a (very) little less vapid than Giulianna’s excellent post on ‘How to Write a Truly Awful Song’

but something has surprised me - a bit of ’sampling’ that included the long and very haunting musical phrases that Stomu Yamash’ta used in his ‘rock’ opera (East Is Red ?) as musical background to his graphic staged mime of a very particular day in Japan in 1945.

To play this tune (melody, or whatever) to an wholly ignorant audience, endlessly, on the 60th anniversary of events at Hiroshima, seemed very ironic. But was it deliberate?

regards

Richard

How to Write a Truly A…

In the smultinous darknesses under the sea
O, Wicked Old Jellyfish blurms squeendishly
While the seaworms comfombled on Jellyfish Lane
O, Wicked Old Jellyfish squirmed into my brain!

Oh JellyJellyJellyJellyJellyJellyfishhh!
Oh oh you left me left me left me with only one wish!:
To slurm and slorp and schlop and splop in the gulpy gopey goo–

Underneath the watery waves, together at last
WITH YOU!

(doop doop do-wop-ee-doo)

In the miring brack mackely forests of kelp
A slimy small sea-worm is squimping “Please help–”
This seaworm was squished from the goo in my brain
When Wicked Old Jellyfish flommed me insane!

O JellyJelly, etc.

And by the same token, there are a lot of really good songs that are about love. Let’s face it. Love is pretty universal. It’s something we can all identify with. And something like that makes for good song material. That’s why a good 90% of the songs out there are about love. The reason so many love songs are bad is not because it’s a bad topic in and of itself. It’s because most song writers aren’t that good. Did you know that close to half of all performers are below average? A shocking statistic, I know.

In order to be a truly awful song, it can’t be too bad. Then it becomes funny, which adds value. For example, Bowling For Soup’s lyrics are usually awful from a literary songwriting perspective, but they’re funny. Another great example of hilariously awful lyrics is “You Suck”, by The Murmurs, and the Butthole Surfers’ cover of “Hurdy Gurdy Man” from the Dumb and Dumber soundtrack.

Aren’t Bowling for Soup and Butthole Surfers TRYING to be funny? I mean, I thought that was the point. Kind of like Barenaked Ladies. You can’t really say it’s an example of their songs being bad if they’re funny on purpose.

Also, I would like to end by saying that Garden State kicks ass.

The incredibly awful songs are too poorly written to be good, but not bad enough to be funny: something so bad that you feel like you completely wasted your time listening to it. You know, like the feeling you get after you watch Garden State.

In any case, I hope you all are spared from being exposed to the gut-wrenching, ear-melting horror that is J-Poppage. Para-para dance, anyone?